An Open Letter to My Boy

Our dearest son,

Canaan Rease Bowers,

You have not even made your grand entrance into the post-uterine world, and you have already taught me so much more than I could have ever imagined.

YOU are the gift we didn't know we were waiting for.

YOU are the answer to the prayers we didn't know we were praying.

When we didn't know what we needed or how to put our needs into words, God knew exactly what we needed, and it was YOU.

Canaan: covenant. You are the evidence of the promise that God will never leave nor forsake us (Deuteronomy 31:6). You remind me of the two absolutely unbreakable relationships that have brought you to this place. First my relationship with the Lord as He saw it fit to bless me with you; and second of my relationship with your father as we have grown and learned so much from you already.

Rease: ardor. You have renewed our zeal for life in a way that I never could have expected.

Bowers: ours. You have already become so ingrained into the very fabric of who we are and what we do that there will never ever be a moment that you could be of any less value or loved any less than you already are, my son.

Your existence has brought joy, excitement, and anticipation to many. We are so enamored with anticipation for your arrival that all of our countdowns and numbered days relate to your coming rather than to Christmas. You have given me a much stronger understanding of what the anticipation for our Lord must have been like. Considering the anxiousness with which we await your arrival, I can only begin to imagine what Mary must have felt at the anticipation of her first son.

My prayer for you through the song we have sung to you countless times is that from your first opportunity you would allow the Keeper of the stars to be the Keeper of your heart. May we become parents who point you to Christ at every opportunity. I pray that you will know more of the Gospel than you do of the world. I pray that we worry more about teaching you God's will than our own.

May the church be a place you find yourself involved, invested in, and welcomed. May we as parents be alert enough to know when to push, and when to let you do on your own. I pray that as we invest into others, we give you an example of selfless, eager investment, rather than a dutiful obedience.

My dearest Canaan, this world is always coming up with new trials, complicated matters, and sins to throw our way. I pray that as we grow into parenthood, and you grow in your knowledge and exposure, that we would be dedicated to speaking Biblical truth over you. I pray now for the Lord's grace in our shortcomings. There will be things that we address pitifully. We, as sinful humans, will be inadequate.

As much as I can hope and pray for our parenting of you and our stewardship over your soul, the most important thing to me is that you grow to seek the Lord about these things, rather than just taking our answers. I pray that you make your relationship with Christ your own from an early age. I pray that you challenge us where we are wrong and that as a family we sharpen each other in our beliefs, our actions, and our motives. I pray that we be honest with each other and bold enough to call each other out when needed.

I pray for your arrival and the story of your beginning; that it never be about me or us or what we did and how we coped, but that it would always, always, always be about the Lord and how He has worked. I do selfishly pray that you arrive quickly and relatively painlessly, but even if not, that we never forget to make your story His story; not our own.

You are our first, and we are bound to make mistakes and be clueless at times. I pray that God would give us the honesty to acknowledge our mistakes, the strength to confess them to you, and the consistency to ask for your forgiveness.

You are already our greatest gift, most valuable treasure, and most fragile responsibility. May you always know that even in our failures, our intentions are the best for your growth, maturation, and independence. You will be challenged, you will be pushed, and you may be brought down. As your parents, we will always be here for you; not to give you all the answers, but to support you as best we can as you make your own decisions and achieve your own goals.

We love you, little man, and we cannot wait to meet you face to face.

With the sincerest of loves,

Mommy and Daddy